lifestyle architecture
NOTHING
MAXXING
I charge $5,000 to do absolutely nothing. Zero output. Maximum value.
// about.exe
100% Effort. 0% Output.
I'm Matthew Gonzalez. I dropped out of college because the ROI on attendance was negative. My time is worth more when I'm not spending it. I operate exclusively on vampire hours (2am to 6am) because that's when the productive people are asleep and my creative nothingness can really flourish.
I have 0 active projects and I intend to keep it that way. My GitHub is pristine - untouched by code, free of contributions. I believe in the power of doing nothing, and I've monetized it. The nothingmaxxing lifestyle isn't for everyone. It's for people who understand that the greatest form of productivity is knowing what not to do.
// portfolio.exe
Premium Nothings
Premium Blank Page Generator
Generates a blank page. Every time. No bloat, no features, no content. Pure emptiness, guaranteed.
The $1,000 Button
Click it. It does nothing. You'll get charged $1,000 per click. Zero functionality, maximum luxury.
Total clicks: 0
Automated Procrastinator
An advanced system that automatically delays every task you give it. Powered by AI (Artificial Inertia).
// trust.exe
Verified Client Feedback
"Matthew did absolutely nothing for our startup. We paid him $15k and our runway disappeared into a void of pure nothing. 10/10 would hire again."
Sarah Chen
CEO, Failed Unicorn Ventures
"I've never met someone so committed to inactivity. His presence on our Slack was profound. He was there, saying nothing, doing nothing. It changed how I think about payroll."
Marcus Johnson
COO, Blockbuster Relaunch Team
"We hired Matthew for 3 months of nothing. He delivered exactly that. No scope creep, no deliverables, no emails. Flawless execution of literally zero work."
Dr. Priya Patel
Head of Nothingness, OpenAI
"His GitHub is a pristine wilderness. Not a single contribution. I've never seen dedication like it. He's the most expensive developer I've never seen code from."
Alex Rivera
CTO, Stealth Mode Everything
// pricing.exe
Nothing Has Never Been This Expensive
Nothing Starter
$5k
- I do absolutely nothing
- No calls, no emails
- Zero deliverables
- Satisfaction guaranteed (no expectations to disappoint)
Nothing Premium
$25k
- Everything in Nothing Starter
- I will also forget you exist
- No trace of our interaction anywhere
- Bonus: I'll actively avoid thinking about your project
// schedule.exe
Available 2am - 6am
12:00 AM
Pre-nothing routine (scrolling)
2:00 AM
Clock in, start nothing
3:00 AM
Peak nothing performance
4:00 AM
Mid-nothing snack
5:00 AM
Wind down the nothing
6:00 AM
Clock out, sleep until 2am
// contact.exe
Want Nothing From Me?
I won't respond. But you can still send an email into the void.